A New Decade, A New Year Process…

I guess this is the best time to write a message to you all.  I’m mentally and spiritually and physically exhausted and raw with emotions of gratitude, elation, loss, birth, but not fear and not anger.  A mixture that I don’t even want to understand—I just want to sit in this feeling soup. And just like the morning clouds today: lovely, soft and dramatic– what a way to end the decade and begin anew.  How blessed am I to experience all this—I am alive and transforming toward what I am intentionally creating . Process is awkward and messy. The interconnected web of life humbles me as I watch how mindful exercises produce amazing outcomes.  So many angels appear in all forms to point us in the right direction or away from a direction that is shiny but not intended. These angels: spouses, comments from family members, a kind word from a student, a nod from an acquaintances, an article or poem that shows up in my inbox are everywhere!  Transformation is not an all of a sudden thing—-there are hints all along the way. The question is am I paying attention to receive? One great way to pay attention is to be quiet and just “be” daily—in nature, sitting, not efforting…shshshsh –I can sense it. It is in the space. It is in the darkness of the unknown.  It is in the trust that I am being supported. It is watching my breath. It is noticing the lovely, soft and dramatic clouds (mine were pink this morning). It is watching my grandbabies watch me. All this is the subtext as the noise of situations occur.

This is not a practice to take on as a resolution but a mindful momentary gift one can bless oneself when one feels like “ I have to do…” in fact these gifts lie in between each inhale and each exhale  This practice is what is getting me through the uncertainty and the emotional humanness muck that paradoxically comes with the space of transformation and change.

This is a work in instead of a work out simultaneous to all the “have to’s”

AND with each breath my loveable future is unfolding…watch for it because it includes you!

~Monica

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